By Rachel Tan

I was browsing through the ‘Singapore Literature Collection’ section in my neighbourhood library and chanced upon Tania De Rozario’s Tender Delirium. It caught my eye because it looked familiar and then I recalled that it was one of the books Prof Holden was giving away a few weeks back. I didn’t usually read poetry collections but the blurb piqued my interest, especially with Cyril Wong’s comment on how reading this collection was like “swallow[ing] fire or drink[ing] liquid nitrogen”. As such, I borrowed it and read it in one setting. Cyril Wong’s description wasn’t far off from what I felt after that. I sank back into the couch and felt like I just went through a very raw and explosive roller coaster ride. Unlike the texts we have been looking at that deal with political and social issues, this collection deals with issues that relate more pertinently to the self and particularly, self-identity.

Just some background information on Tanzia De Rozario:
“Tania De Rozario is an artist, writer and curator interested in issues of gender and sexuality. Co-founder of EtiquetteSG, and winner of the 2011 NAC-SPH Golden Point Award for English Poetry, she is the author of Tender Delirium  (Math Paper Press | 2013), which was recently shortlisted for the 2014 Singapore Literature Prize. She is currently penning her second full-length book, And The Walls Come Crumbling Down.”  (Taken from her official webpage, taniaderozario.com)

Just an overall sweep of the book: Tender Delirium does not have a specific narrative trajectory and they did not exactly revolve around a particular subject matter either. The book is also structured into three sections, Denied Access, Between Two Points and Returning Home. Interestingly, the way the three sections were titled hinted at a sort of narrative that I expected while reading the collection. I took a quick guess and inferred that it probably encompassed the reconciliation of certain extremities or conflicts. However, the whole range of subject matter and themes dealt with by Tania dismantled my initial preconceived notions about the collection. I find that the thread which connects her poetry is a raw, explicit and bold intensity that is frankly rather frightening at some points but otherwise, extremely powerful. Tania cleverly subverts our expectations through many layers and techniques in her poetry as reflected in her unconventional use of subject matter, perspectives as well as her exceptionally skilful use of enjambment in almost all of her works. Her poetry teases and confuses the reader by with one particular interpretation only to undermine that very same point in the next line or stanza.

–

WHAT YOU ARE

I want to write you a poem that unravels
from the gut, hurls itself towards you
like a slap across the mouth. Let my words
unleash themselves upon you like dogs
looking for a fight, like seeds bursting
from overripe pods. let every vowel
explode in your face like cruel laughter,
every consonant pronounce itself like
death into your ear, every comma
trip up your speech, every full-stop
prevent you from finding your way
home [. . . .]I want
to write you a poem that drives a bullet
through your beliefs, plagues you
with your own reflection, smashes every
illusion like bricks through a window
pane; let it stir the birds in your chest
so hard they burst through your flesh
in a spectacle of sound and despair. I
want to write you a poem that lingers
on your breath like cigarettes, stings
your eyes like salt, a finger pointing
unflinchingly: this is what you are
_

This is an extract from the very first poem within the collection that perfectly sets the tone for the rest of it and largely illustrates her strong confrontational and assertive style. This poem explicitly prepares the reader for an unconventional read (“I hope you were not expecting/sweet nothings, love songs, cherished/clichés”) that aims to challenge stereotypes, blur lines and cross boundaries. The subsequent poems build up upon her declaration right at the start and boldly deliver her aims as stated within the opening poem.

I realised a curiously interesting blend of subject matters and emotional phenomenon. 怨念 ONNEN and WATCHING DOGS EAT were two poems that really caught my eye primarily because of the unconventional subject matters as well as the unconventional perspective adopted. The poem 怨念was just as haunting as the three female spirits they revolve around. (I am not a big horror fan so writing and reading this at night really did spook me out) Her rewriting of the stories of the three vengeful female spirits shifts the usual emphasis from the fear evoked within the victims to the spirits. She tells their untold story and the theme of revenge is a salient one in this poem as Tania seeks a form of redressing their grievances by the incessant haunting of their assailants or murderers. The selection of the title was also an equally interesting choice that caught my eye because it was a Japanese word that could also at the same time be accessible to Chinese readers. The word, as reflected in her footnotes, “signifies an emotion so strong that it lingers even past death”; revealing the intensity of the vengeance and anguish behind their stories. Here, I feel that the beauty of her poetry comes through from the meticulous details – the intensity of her poetry is compounded through and through in her choice of words, diction and titles.

In WATCHING DOGS EAT, the speaker aligns herself with animals and turns the tables on her own kind, humans. Revenge fuels the speaker as she watches and even relishes in the death of the man who flirted with her. Dismissing the fact that he has a family to return to and other commitments within his life, this stark cruelty and lack of compassion lets loose a darker side of vengeance that Tania conveys and somehow through her tone of voice she has managed to glorify the act of and emotions associated with revenge. As such, the poet also presents the gratification of the self as something that is righteous and just, revealing the raw intensity of emotion – revenge, that consumes the individual thoroughly, leaving little or no compassion within.

Another aspect that I found really interesting in her poetry was her ability to put two disjunctive subjects together in poetry. For two subjects that seem incongruent, the poet creates that adhesive link that artfully weaves them together. These subject matters also effectively articulate the various tensions that are occurring within the poem. For example, sex and a car crash, a massage and an apology. In MASSAGE: AN APOLOGY, the speaker confesses the act of cheating on his or her lover. Naturally, one does not expect an explicit and vivid running commentary of the misdeed as an apology. As such, the initial reader response might be to posit that the apology may not be sincere. Just like how the subject matters are in contention with each other, there is a similar tension within the poem between the inherent guilt and his need to alleviate it as well as the derived pleasures from this act of betrayal. As much as the speaker apologises (“I’m sorry that”), the vivid physical description of his intimate tryst undercuts that sense of guilt running through the text. Hence, the term guilty pleasure is brought to its literal meaning here where the speaker struggles to come to terms with these conflicting emotions.

In CRASH, a stark sense of loss is emphasised in the text through the two incongruous images of sex and a car crash. The physical act of love making conflated with that of the physical collision of two vehicles until you cannot really tell the two acts apart as you read on. The explosive power of the two are highlighted but the car crash steals the loved one away “One of us is still breathing.” hence emphasising the stark contrast and feeling bereft of your loved one alongside the image of passionate love making. The romantic associations of sex are also shattered by the brutality of the car crash. Any forms of romantic imagery are immediately followed by a jolt back into reality through the run on lines or short staccato phrases, “like stars, till dismembered”, “ghosts of the empty street we once called/love. But wait. One of us is still breathing.” The combination of these two events, sex and a car crash creates a very strong, heady and powerful image that magnifies the depth of grief, love and loss that not only brings lovers together but also forcefully tears them apart.

The way Tania named her sections and her book was something that really intrigued me because after reading the collection I realised that everything ties together beautifully. Amidst the various themes of sexuality, revenge, the home, loss and love, the intense personal experiences and emotions reflect the process of self identification and realisation. Tania’s myriad of approaches effectively presents this process as a struggle that is fraught with emotional turmoil and confusion. There is a whole lot of incessant questioning, confronting and testing the boundaries of our comfort zones. Ultimately, the process might be a painful one that leaves you full of scars, hurt, confusion and anguish but it also strips you down to your basic and raw state of self. Thus, I somewhat realised the essence of the title, Tender Delirium. At first sight, it called to mind the idea of softness but upon reading the poems, they reflect a completely different aspect of this word; tender just like the state of a raw wound, still pink and fragile. In itself, the title self-reflexively overthrows the stereotypical notions of the word “tender” and offers a critique towards the innate mechanisms of stereotype application. As such, I find that the title not only perfectly embodies this process of self formation and discovery but it also emphasises this explicit sense of rawness. It is precisely the strength to survive by healing the tender wounds inflicted after bruising and hurting yourself again and again that makes you whole.

This was my first read on Singapore Literature outside of our texts in class and it was really mind blowing. Definitely left a strong and deep impression on me.